Author: World Without Hate

Unfortunately, this story is not new. Two Muslim men were kicked off an Alaska Airlines flight. Their crime? Texting in Arabic.

Last winter, while texting before takeoff, these men apparently incited fear and a terrorist alert when a fellow passenger alerted the crew to this perceived threat. While safety must remain at the forefront for all, it is high time the systems, processes, and human condition that abides be scrutinized, dismantled, and created with true diversity, equity, and inclusion at the forefront.

Texting while brown. Not, in fact, illegal. Texting in a language other than English. Also, not illegal. Yet, none of the articles and news briefs about this latest incident reminded us of this. Repeated, irresponsible actions as a result of ongoing ignorance, fear, and even hate, disrespect our fellow humans while violating their rights and freedoms. Have we learned nothing over the last 20-years since 9/11? Or over the last 400-years of systemic and structural racism? Or nearly 175-years since the women’s suffrage movement?

Why is basic human decency so hard to achieve? In part, it is because ignorance, fear and intolerance are embedded human characteristics. Implicit bias is hidden or unconscious and expressed automatically, generally without awareness. In fact, Cheryl Staats of the Kirwan Institute at The Ohio State University explains, “Many studies have indicated that implicit biases affect individuals’ attitudes and actions, thus creating real-world implications, even though individuals may not even be aware that those biases exist within themselves” (State of the Science: Implicit Bias Review, 2013). Whether those who sound the alarm are aware of their biases or the consequences of their actions doesn’t change the damaging outcomes for the accused. Fear and ignorance compromises morals and values, compassion and empathy, understanding and acceptance — the very qualities needed to prevent incidents like this one on Alaska Airlines and far too many others, on airlines and elsewhere.

Last year, just as I had settled into my seat for an Alaska Airlines red-eye flight, an older, white female near my row was struggling to place her carryon in the overhead bin. With no other fellow passengers, especially those still standing, offering her assistance, I immediately rose to help. We ended up seated in the same row. As we both settled into our seats, she thanked me for my help. We began chatting and before long, she was telling me all about her recent church group trip to Jordan and Israel, proudly showing me her photos. When I asked about her experiences in the Muslim majority country of Jordan, and without knowing my faith, she shared that Muslims are to kill or convert non-Muslims in order to go to heaven after they die.

Though jarred by her comments, and not expecting them from a person who had just returned from Jordan, I did not sound any alarms. Instead, I felt the need to continue our conversation and perhaps help her get beyond her ignorance and prejudice. As we got to know each other, I gently and jokingly said, “You are sitting next to a Muslim, how do you feel?” After a beat of silence, we both started laughing. She clearly did not sound any alarms either. Before long, we were no longer strangers and instead saw one another as human first; human beings with more in common than we would’ve ever known if we hadn’t started talking. In fact, she realized that we hold much in common in faith as well.

As we approached our destination, she thanked me for our conversation and asked me about visiting a local mosque. She told me she was interested in reading the Quran and hoped to learn more about Islam and Muslims. Neither of us allowed bias, fear, or ignorance to overpower us, causing chaos or worse. Instead, a small act of kindness, followed by calm, friendly conversation, and a genuine desire to learn allowed each of us to open up, sharing parts of ourselves and our stories with the other.

While we live in a time of tremendous misinformation, lies, and stereotypes, it’s far too easy to react out of fear. However, it is our collective responsibility to act with empathy and understanding first. Just think what might have happened if the concerned passenger actually tried engaging with his fellow seatmates. A simple hello and friendly dialogue can help break the ice, calm nerves, and provide courage to inquire about a language or alphabet unfamiliar to yourself, opening up a learning opportunity. We can avoid unnecessary pain, harassment, trauma, costly investigations, or potential injury if we allow ourselves to make genuine connections with others, especially those seemingly unlike us. Perhaps, if this is too much to start, how about asking how you’d feel if you were one of the Muslim passengers innocently texting one moment, being thrown off the plane the next.

For the inevitable witnesses – what can we do to help avoid escalation? We too, need to act with empathy and understanding, both for the victims and the victimizers. Let us not assume the worst of either party. Instead, we can offer comfort and support. This will become easier to extend if we all commit to listening, learning, and sharing. Finding ways to connect with our fellow passengers, neighbors, and community members will build bridges among us all, dismantling ignorance, fear, and hate one heart, and one mind at a time.

~ Rais Bhuiyan, Founder & President, World Without Hate

On this day, nineteen years ago, I began what would be my last day of work as a store clerk in South East Dallas. Rescuers at Ground Zero continued searching for survivors. The country was in deep mourning, as newfound fears and uncertainty loomed. But, what had not yet been widely known, was that people like me, quickly began paying the ultimate price for the September 11^th terrorist attacks.

Around noon that day, a man wearing a bandana, baseball cap, and sunglasses, carrying a double barrel shot gun walked in. Pointing the gun directly at my face, he asked, “Where are you from?” Before I could utter anything more than “Excuse me?” he pulled the trigger from point blank range.

On this International Day of Peace, my RE-Birthday, I count my blessings for the second chance I was given. There isn’t a day that goes by that I’m not fully aware of how close I came to death at the hands of hate.

Though not visible to most, I still carry countless scars from that day. Despite all that I lost and endured, I remained here in America, rebuilding my life in the very place that tore it apart. Kind, empathetic Americans from incredibly diverse backgrounds helped me begin to recover. THIS was the country I had learned so much about as a child. This is also why I am extraordinarily proud to be an American, my adopted home for over twenty years.

Today, I see too many of my fellow Americans allowing ignorance and fear to fuel hatred and even violence toward those considered unlike them. Tragically, this is the very same ideology of my attacker for much of his life. In addition to killing two and nearly taking my life, he ultimately paid the ultimate price – having been executed for his crimes.

On this United Nations’ International Day of Peace, hate crime in America is at a 16-year high. We are more divided than ever, with too many ready and willing to hurt others. It is time for us to recommit to being the great country we truly are – respecting our fellow human beings as they are. Taking the time to get to know others, especially someone you consider unlike you, brings great gifts. My attacker hated me when he didn’t know me, but in the end, said he loved me. Once you get to know the other, it’s hard for you to hate them.

In the end, we all have much in common – what you want for yourself and your family, are the same things that the people you think you don’t like want for themselves and their families – love, respect, peace, happiness, opportunity. Life will truly be more peaceful for us all if we commit to treating people as humans first – with compassion and empathy, understanding and acceptance, and to teach our future generations to do the same.

~ Rais Bhuiyan, Founder & President, World Without Hate

September 11^th, 2001 happened to be my day off. Every Tuesday I could sleep a little longer. As I began making breakfast, I turned on the news and saw one of the twin towers get hit by a plane. I assumed it was a trailer for a movie, but when I saw the second tower hit, my initial thoughts vanished, and I knew something terrible was happening in New York, my first home in my adopted country. Like everyone, I was shocked, horrified, and then paralyzed by fear. 

Immediately, everything changed. Traditionally friendly customers, at the gas station I worked at, became angry and looked at me with suspicion. No matter where I was, I no longer felt safe. I knew my life in America would never be the same. In fact, I dreamed about what would inevitably happen to me, three times, before I was actually gunned down.

On September 21st, the self-proclaimed True American on a revenge shooting spree, burst into the convenience store, shot me from point blank range, and left me for dead on the cold concrete floor. Though I survived, inexplicable damage remains. There is not a single day I am not reminded of, or impacted by, this painful tragedy and must constantly work to make peace with my pain. Still, I am extraordinarily proud to be an American. It is why, after my shooting, I chose to remain, rebuilding my life in the very place that tore it apart.

Like most Americans, each September 11th brings a rush of emotions. I reflect on how much our country lost that day; the thousands of innocent lives shockingly, and suddenly taken; and how quickly fellow comrades rushed in to aid victims. That most horrific day brought out the best in our fellow community members. 9/11 is indeed a catastrophically tragic day in American history, but it was also a time of extraordinary unity, solidarity, and coming together. Did anyone hesitate because of skin color before running into the burning towers to help others escape? Did anyone pause to ask another about their religion, ethnicity, or socioeconomic background before scooping them into their arms and carrying them further to safety? Did anyone hesitate to donate generously, give blood, or volunteer to comfort strangers?

And yet, 19-years later, that tremendous unity, strong patriotism, and historic fellowship is overshadowed by immense intolerance, fear, mistrust, and hate. In fact, hate crime has reached a 16-year high. Far too many are acting as if we are at war, ready to take the lives of those we do not understand or agree with.  We are fighting against each other rather than working together for justice, equity, and peace for all. Do we truly want to live and raise our children in such an intolerant and hate filled country? 

Today, like you, I live in a free country, but I often wonder, are we all truly free? The only place I feel safe in America is after passing security at the airport. This is not who we are; this is not our America. Our America is great because there is nothing we can’t fix or achieve; it’s the country where change is possible; it’s the country where an immigrant like me could fulfill his dreams after being shot in the face and hitting rock bottom. Americans are capable of extraordinary grace and compassion when they open their hearts to others, as many did for me in the months and years after my attack.

I am here today, in part, because of the man who tried to end my life. When I was able to see him as a human being, and not just a killer, and connected to him with forgiveness and empathy, he embraced me as his brother. It was one of his final requests, asking me to continue the human rights work I had started, helping others get beyond hate and prevent violence.

Where might we start to disrupt cycles of hate and violence? How can we begin to see others, especially those we think are different from us, as human first? A first step towards peace, understanding, and acceptance is teaching ourselves, and each other, empathy. We can then begin to respect others more equally, as human beings, regardless of differences. We certainly don’t have to like everyone we meet, but we can, and must, respect others as we want to be respected.

On this 19^th anniversary of 9/11, I urge us to recall the strength in unity and patriotism shared during that day of sheer terror, chaos and unknown. We can indeed come back together, stronger and united as one nation, just as we have demonstrated before.

~ Rais Bhuiyan, a post 9/11 hate crime survivor is the founder of World Without Hate, an international speaker, & the subject of The True American, Murder & Mercy in Texas.